USMagazine, Sunday, January 20, 2013, 9:00am (PST)
Jennifer Lawrence wants to make one thing clear. She was not dissing fellow nominee Meryl Streep when she said "I beat Meryl!" at the Golden Globes. In fact, she was paying homage to the movie The First Wives Club, starring Goldie Hawn, Bette Midler, and Diane Keaton.
Which is not to say she's against trash-talking -- just that she can do better at it than that little one-liner. She proved as much on Jan. 19, during her opening monologue on NBC's Saturday Night Live.
Addressing her fellow Best Actress Oscar nominees, the Silver Linings Playbook star, 22, joked: "Ladies, I love you all, but you're about to get served." She then proceeded to take a few good-natured jabs at each of the contenders.
"Well, well, well, look who it is...Jessica Chastain. More like Jessica Chast-ain't winning no Oscar on my watch!" she quipped. "In Zero Dark Thirty, you caught Bin Laden. So what? In Winter's Bone, I caught a squirrel and then I ate it. BOOM. Deal with that."
Continuing on to Naomi Watts, she said, "You were in The Impossible. You know what else is impossible? You beating me on Oscar night."
The actress even took aim at 9-year-old Quvenzhane Wallis, nominated for Beasts of the Southern Wild. "You think you can beat me? Whatchu talkin' bout, Wallis?" she joked. "Also, the alphabet called -- they want their letters back."
She finished with a swipe at Emmanuelle Riva, nominated for the French film Amour: "An 85-year-old French lady. Yeah, I think I can take you."