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Pippa Middleton Spoofs Herself, Makes Fun of Her Book in Hilarious Editorial

USMagazine, Wednesday, December 12, 2012, 5:40pm (PST)
  • If you can't beat 'em, join 'em!

    Critics have not been kind to Pippa Middleton's party-planning guide, "Celebrate," which was widely ridiculed upon its release for its too-basic advice. (Sample tip: "When hosting a party, move any clutter from the space where you're entertaining.") But the author has a message for all the naysayers: They're not laughing at her, they're laughing with her.

    Duchess Kate's 29-year-old party-planner sister showed she was in on the joke by writing a hilarious, tongue-in-cheek guest editorial for The Spectator, a long-running weekly magazine focused on political and current events.

    PHOTOS: Pippa Middleton, Britain's most eligible bachelorette

    "I have been much teased for my book. Lots of journalists are saying that my advice is glaringly obvious," she writes in the piece. "A spoof Twitter account called @pippatips offers such pearls as 'Enjoy a glass of water by getting a clean glass and pouring in water from a tap or bottle.'"

    "But in my defense, let me say this: 'Celebrate' is meant to be a guide to party planning and, as such, it has to cover the basics," she continues cheekily. "If I were to write a cookery book, for instance, I would be compelled to say that, to make an omelet, you have to break at least one egg. Actually, that's not a bad idea." Added the royal bridesmaid, who's world-famous for her derriere: "Or maybe I should write a sequel and call it 'Bottoms Up?' Now, that could be a bestseller."

    PHOTOS: Pippa's fabulous figure

    Should said sequel come to be, she adds, she's prepared for the inevitable book signings. "I have finally perfected my signature," she writes, revealing that she takes pains to distance herself from her well-known surname. "It took hours of practicing ... I decided early on just to write Pippa, not Middleton."

    Continuing the gag, the writer shares her "excruciatingly self-evident tips for festive entertaining in the workplace," including gems like: "Choose, if you can, a Christmas-themed menu. A turkey, for example, can be perfect for large gatherings." She also offers some thoughts on appropriate conversation topics: "Keep speeches brief and cheerful. Christmas is not a time to talk about redundancies."

    It is a time for costumes, though -- at least in the Middleton household.

    PHOTOS: Pippa's sophisticated street style

    "My father has developed a tradition of surprising us at some point by appearing in fancy dress. He buys a new costume each year and typically gets carried away," the Brit discloses of her father Michael, who shares kids Kate, 30, Pippa, and James, 25, with their mom, Carole. "A couple of Christmases ago he appeared in an inflatable sumo outfit. It's endearing, really, and only quite embarrassing."

  • This year's holiday is likely to be especially happy, as the family celebrates Duchess Catherine's pregnancy. (The duchess and Prince William announced Dec. 3 that they're expecting their first child.)

    "Their Royal Highnesses the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are very pleased to announce that the Duchess of Cambridge is expecting a baby," St. James's Palace said in a statement. "The Queen, the Duke of Edinburgh, the Prince of Wales, the Duchess of Cornwall and Prince Harry and members of both families are delighted with the news."

    This article originally appeared on Usmagazine.com: Pippa Middleton Spoofs Herself, Makes Fun of Her Book in Hilarious Editorial

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