Celebritot Superlatives
By Melissa Hunter
Most Likely to Follow in Her Mother's Footsteps: Violet Affleck
Probably the most photographed celeb spawn under the age of 5, Violet seems to be a natural for the camera. Living in front of it her whole life probably saves the family years of acting for the camera classes.
And considering how much the girl looks like her mom Jen Garner, I imagine there will be little in her way of getting her on national TV in the near term. Her dad, Ben Affleck, started in the biz when he was a pre-teen, so the 'rents have very little cause for push-back. I sincerely hope they revamp her mom's old show to make a "Tiny Tot Alias."
Most Liikely to Become a Self-Loathing Model: Shiloh Jolie-Pitt
She's pushing for the tomboy look lately, but let's be real: As the daughter of Brangelina, this girl cannot escape her ridiculously good-looking genes. She can cover it up in baseball caps and baggy T-shirts, but, come young adulthood, someone is going to snap a pic that will inadvertently become a Calvin Klein ad. Darn her perfect DNA!
Most Likely to Be an A-list Heartbreaker: Kingston Rossdale
He's the son of two smoking hot music icons (Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale) and already has developed a sweet faux-hawk. He may only be 3, but I'm already kind of intimidated by him. He'll surely dabble in music, maybe go into extreme sports for a while-- I mean, who cares? He's going to be too busy being attacked from every angle by Hollywood starlets by the time he's 18 to focus on any kind of "career" per se.
Most Likely To Write a Tell-All Memoir: Suri Cruise
All right, we're not saying anything salacious here, but imagine the stories the daughter of TomKat could tell. And I have a hunch many a publishing house would pay roughly a bajillion dollars to tell them. Behind Scientology's Walls. Inside the Cruise Jet -- just throwing out chapter ideas, here. And really, the girl may only be 3, but she looks like she's already lived lifetimes.
Most Likely to Chill on the Beach 'til He's 35: Levi McConaughey
Ninety percent of photographs seen of this little tyke are on the sands of designer Malibu beaches while his buff dad Matthew occupies himself with sets of coral reef chin-ups. Paradise like this is hard to pass up, and I don't imagine this little Calvin (of Calvin & Hobbes) lookalike would feel any inclination to leave. Give him a pair of bongos and a golden retriever, and you can find him chillin' in his shack perched above Zuma Beach for the rest of time.
Most Likely to Have a Clothing Line by Junior High: Harlow Madden
She already has a clothing line named after her from her fashionista mom Nicole Richie, but soon enough this little Cabbage Patch will be trendsetting with the best of them. Besides, anyone who's anyone in the elite L.A. private school system launches at least one fashion or fragrance line by age 11.
Most Likely to End Up on a Reality TV Show: Cruz Beckham
In real life, you go to therapy to work out your childhood problems. In the celebriverse, you go on a reality show and work them out on national television. Besides, after living his life being followed by the press wherever he goes with his folks Vicky and David, being surrounded by cameras is probably very soothing for him. Like a rain machine.
Most Likely to Become an Acclaimed Indie Director: Matilda Ledger
She's the daughter of two incredibly talented actors (Michelle Williams and the late Heath Ledger), but Matilda looks like she's over being in front of the camera. Growing up in Brooklyn surrounded by artists and having dealt with tragedy at a very young age -- this is the stuff auteur angst is made of.
Most Likely to Go Into Politics: Sean Preston Spears
Something about this kid screams politician to me. Sure, he'll probably have a few dark years, but that's all a part of the compelling life story: defeating the odds of becoming a hot mess, going to Yale, graduating top of his class, and sharing the harrowing tale of how he survived the day his mom Britney held him on her lap unbuckled in a convertible. Plus, I bet we'd all get a huge tax break on Flamin' Hot Cheetos.
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