The Top 10 Too-Old-For-School Stars
By Saryn Chorney
In the hotly anticipated high school horror flick "Jennifer's Body," Megan Fox plays a cheerleader with a heart of darkness. We have no doubt she'll look extra sexy pumping pom-poms and killing male classmates, but at 23, she's also a bit long in the tooth to play a teenager. Not to mention her co-stars Amanda Seyfried, Adam Brody and Chris Pratt are also all in their mid-20s to early 30s. C'mon Hollywood, we weren't born yesterday.
In honor of the back-to-school season, we've compiled a list of the Top 10 oldest celebs ever cast as high school students and college coeds on-screen. Grab your calculators, boys and girls, and prepare yourself for a celebrity math lesson!
10. Kevin Bacon in 'Footloose'
Back in 1984, the actor who would one day be honored with his very own "six degrees of..." cocktail party game was busy making a name for himself by dancing his wannabe-teenage heart out. Not since Elvis swiveled his hips for the camera had one heartthrob inspired so many girls to "kick off their Sunday shoes." Only problem: Bacon was actually 26 years old when he played new kid in town Ren McCormack. But who cares? He filled out those sweet Jordache jeans way better than my own senior prom date did.
9. Shannon Elizabeth in 'American Pie' and 'American Pie 2'
Sure, European girls always seem a tad more mature than their American counterparts, but casting 26-year-old sexpot Shannon Elizabeth as Czech foreign exchange student Nadia in the "American Pie" movies was kinda ridiculous.
Hey, some future Playboy centerfold had to do it, right? Come to think of it, Tara Reid (then 24) and Alyson Hannigan (then 25) were also a good deal older than their randy male co-stars. But don't worry: that infamous warm apple pie was freshly baked.
8. Jon Heder in 'Napoleon Dynamite'
We've never been exactly sure what was, uh, wrong with Napoleon Dynamite, but the oddball "teen" outcast was played by a then-27 year old Jon Heder. Napoleon's equally weird little pal Pedro (Efren Ramirez) was actually 29 in real life. Plus, Uncle Rico (John Gries) was mentally stuck in the year 1982 and lived in a '75 Dodge Santana campervan. Wacky, developmentally arrested characters, unstylish costumes and a disjointed soundtrack make the time period and ages hard to discern. But, do you think Heder's age makes him any less perfect for this role? Heck no! He's practically a nerd icon. Gosh.
7. The cast of 'Beverly Hills, 90210'
One look at this photo and you just know something ain't quite right at West Beverly High, and I don't just mean the we're-embarrassed-looking-at-you early '90s fashions. Time to evaluate the permanent record, class: Luke Perry (Dylan McKay) was 24, Ian Ziering (Steve Sanders) was 26, and Gabrielle Carteris (Andrea Zuckerman) was 29. I mean, let's be real -- she wasn't far from menopause by the time the series ended in 2000.
6. Ralph Macchio in 'The Karate Kid, Part III'
It was reasonably acceptable when eternally boyish actor Ralph Macchio, then 23, took on the iconic role of Daniel LaRusso back in the original "Karate Kid." But when he's 28 playing 19, we're just not buying it anymore. In fact, we didn't buy this cheese-quel, period. Daniel-san and Miyagi open a bonsai tree shop? Lemme tell ya, Karate Kid fans were pretty "waxed off" about that lame plot.
Fun fact: Blake Lively's older sister Robyn played Larusso's girlfriend. (She also played "Teen Witch," but we won't even go there.)
5. Malcolm McDowell in 'A Clockwork Orange'
What's scarier than having your eyeballs pinned open and being forced to watch "ultra-violence"? How about the fact that British thespian Malcolm McDowell was a 28-year-old man playing a 15-year-old juvenile delinquent. Then again, we suppose it makes sense to have an adult play the lead role in an X-rated film. In fact, it's probably mandatory.
4. Stacey Dash in 'Clueless'
She may have been a good 10 or more years older than her costars, but that didn't make a then-29 year old Stacey Dash any less charming as Cher's (Alicia Silverstone) high-drama bff Dionne. Dash looked damn good then and she looks just as good now at 43. The exotic babe is a late-in-life video vixen (Kanye West's "All Falls Down") and even posed for Playboy when she turned 40. I like to imagine that Murray (Donald Faison) would've been really proud of his woman for that. As Cher once said, "Sometimes you have to show a little skin. This reminds boys of being naked, and then they think of sex."
3. John Belushi in "Animal House"
The late, great John Belushi was already 29 years old when he played the guitar-smashing, food-fight starting originator of the popular frat-ogre stereotype and all-around degenerate Bluto Blutarsky. Now, you might think 29 is a good 10 years too old to play an undergrad, but Bluto was actually a "super senior," well into his seventh year of, well, social studies. And even though he touted an impressive 0.0 GPA, Bluto went on to become a United States Senator. Just goes to show, age has nothing on charisma -- or comic timing.
2. Alan Ruck in "Ferris Bueller's Day Off"
Aww. Poor Cameron Frye. The long-suffering (from his allergies, his dad, his secret crush on Sloane Peterson ...) best friend of Matthew Broderick's iconic teen character always seemed like a grumpy old man at heart. Which makes sense, considering he was 29 years old playing a junior in high school. Ruck continues to kick it old-school, er, new -school, enjoying more age appropriate roles in TV's "Greek" as Dean Bowman and the recent high school flick "I Love You, Beth Cooper" as Mr. Cooverman.
1. The cast of 'Grease'
If you thought the collective age of the "Beverly Hills, 90201" cast was staggering, take a moment to consider the most beloved high school musical of all time. Be they T-Bird or Pink Lady, nearly every star of the film was way too old for his or her bobby socks. Stockard Channing as Rizzo was a whopping 34 (that's TWICE the age of most high schoolers), Olivia Newton-John (Sandy) was 30, Michael Tucci (Sonny) was 32, Jamie Donnelly (Jan) was 31, Jeff Conaway (Kenickie) was 28, Barry Pearl (Doody) was 28, Didi Conn (Frenchy) was 27 and even John Travolta was 24. "Grease" is not the word -- OLD is the word.
Regardless, the truly teenage stars of "High School Musical" really never held a candle to Newton-John and Travolta. No offense to Gabriella and Troy (er, Vanessa and Zac), but we highly doubt "We're All in This Together" will be sung by generations of teenyboppers to come. However, that "Grease" megamix will live on at proms, bar mitzvahs and weddings for all eternity. Of this, I am certain.
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