Casting the New "Clue" Movie
Kristen Wiig is the main reason we're still watching "SNL." Put her in Tina Fey's glasses and she's perfect as Mrs. Peacock. She could play the batty old bird as a likeably demented cross between the Target Lady and Suze Orman.
By Saryn Chorney
"Pirates of the Caribbean" helmer Gore Verbinski will remake the 1985 cult classic "Clue," and we want to blackmail him to cast Russell Brand as the Butler. He's the one Brit who could do Tim Curry's Wadsworth justice. Time for a casting game...
Tina Fey may be the only actress who could match wits with Madeline Kahn. Fey was perfect as Sarah "Pitbull in Lipstick" Palin, so we know she'd rule as Mrs. White, the widow with a trail of dead husbands. Plus she'd look hot in a slinky dress.
Must we justify it? The nerdy, ever-frazzled Rainn Wilson is a shoe-in for the absent-minded Professor Plum part. Like Dwight's and his secret affair with co-worker Angela on "The Office", nutty professor Plum has some dirty secrets of his own.
Kristen Wiig is the main reason we're still watching "SNL." Put her in Tina Fey's glasses and she's perfect as Mrs. Peacock. She could play the batty old bird as a likeably demented cross between the Target Lady and Suze Orman.
Jason Bateman and Michael McKean could almost be related, right? The actors look alike, they're both funny, and equally adept at playing characters who aren't quite what they seem. The closeted Mr. Green - gay or FBI agent? - is no exception.
Seductive Scarlett Johansson is the go-to Hollywood sexpot to play - who else? - Miss Scarlett. We could totally see Scar-Jo as a down-on-her-luck actress running a bordello on the sly. Who WOULDN'T want to see that?
All John C. Reilly needs is a mustache to become Colonel Mustard - he's already the go-to "bumbling buffoon with a crush on a hot chick" guy. Mustard is tough on the outside, but his soft heart and slow-ish head make him man bait for Miss Scarlett.
Besides being Yvette's twin, AnnaLynne McCord has also been known to prance around in campy costumes. That's why we chose the "90210" babe from a bevvy of sexy starlets to play the devious French maid. Watch out when she enters the Billiards Room!
Kenneth the Page as Mr. Boddy the blackmailing dinner host? Yes! We think Jack McBrayer could bring a silly spark of life to the character who is murdered early in the evening, thus setting off the "Whodunit?" chain of events throughout the movie.
Speaking of characters we'd like to see get the axe (or, the knife, in this case), Rachael Ray would be THE person to play the cook. She's pleasantly plump and we bet her oriental monkey brain is just yum-o! Get this chef a kitchen gong ASAP.
Tracy Morgan is so hilarious, we'd cast him in any film to spruce up the third act. As the cop, he'd be locked in the library for most of his screen time, but we think a Brian Fellows-meets-Samuel L. Jackson type would make the most of his time.
Much like the mysterious motorist, Kevin Dillon has a certain shady quality. He's often the victim of some unfortunate (yet funny) turn of events on "Entourage." He'd definitely add a dopey twist to this key supporting player.
Lindsay Lohan could use a comic role like the Singing Telegram to help get her career on track. We know LiLo can sing, and she held her own in "A Prairie Home Companion" alongside a star-studded cast already. Let's give her a chance, then kill her!
All remakes need one member of the original cast. We say invite Howard Hesseman to reprise his role of the Chief Inspector. We haven't seen the "WKRP in Cincinatti"/"Head of the Class" star in a while and he wasn't even credited in the first film!
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