Stars are Not Like Us! for Oct. 29
By Melissa Hunter
THEY PURCHASE MULTI-MILLION DOLLAR BATHROOM TILES!
Pamela Anderson is having some money problems which may or may not or most certainly has to do with her splurging on gold and platinum metal tiles in her jacuzzi and sauna area, to the tune of $3 million. Well, if nothing else, the people at Cash4Gold may have found the dream spokeswoman for their tireless infomercials.
THEY SELL OFF THEIR SECOND CASTLES!
Nicolas Cage will soon be officially castle-less. Once upon a time, Cage was the proud owner of two European castles, but he had to sell one this summer. And now, after living several months with only one castle to his name, the economy has weighed heavily enough that he was forced to put his second castle on the market. But where will he have his Knights of the Round Table reenactments? WHERE, I ask you?
THEIR KISSES ARE WORTH HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS!
Charlize Theron sweetened the pot at a charity auction by promising a kiss to the winner of the South Africa trip package she sold. One lucky (read: stupidly rich) lady outbid others with a $140k offer. The two kissed for a solid 20-seconds with the crowd counting down in true middle-school-spin-the-bottle style. Good to know that in case her acting career flounders, Charlize will always have a future in the kissing booth industry.
THEY DEBUT THEIR SECOND BREAST IMPLANTS!
Most celebrities try to subtly introduce their new pair of plastic pals to the general public. Most celebrities are not Amy Winehouse.
In her second take under the knife, she took her freshly-healed cleavage out for a night on the town and the results were, um, NSFW. You know, it's just like when you buy a pair of amazing heels that you have to wear right out of the store. Exactly like that except it's silicone under your skin.
THEY GET FRIENDLIER CHINS PER CELEBRITY FRIENDS' SUGGESTIONS!
Simon Cowell taught his friend Gordon Ramsay a valuable lesson: Having a frightening persona does not mean you should have a frightening appearance. So it was off with his chin! Or at least, ridding it of the nooks and crannies and replacing it with a "friendlier" one. In this picture, you can see his old, hostile chin.
THEY GIVE THEIR MAN CANDY THOUSANDS FOR ALLOWANCES!
Madonna reportedly gives her boy Jesus Luz a $10,000 monthly allowance for, you know, being her boy. Don't know if it's more lucrative to be her adopted child or her chosen boy toy, but let's just say we all would like to apply to be a part of the Madge clan.
THEY'RE ECONOMICAL ABOUT THEIR DIAMOND PURCHASES!
It's official: the recession has hit 50 Cent. Before buying a new diamond-encrusted-what-have-you, he says that he now sells some old bling. Taking a lead from the environmental movement, he's attempting to remain diamond-neutral.
THEY FASHION UNDERWEAR WORTH MILLIONS!
Victoria's Secret angel Marisa Miller had the honor of modeling a $3 million, diamond-encrusted "fantasy bra" for the lingerie line. If that bra doesn't have 7bedrooms, a tennis court and an ocean view, I'm not buyin'. Irony is, Marisa's used fantasy bra would probably be more valuable than a brand new one to some creepster billionaire out there.
THEY DEMAND TENS OF THOUSANDS FOR APPEARANCES!
Jon Gosselin recently turned down a one-hour radio appearance because they wouldn't pay him a $12,000 fee (in addition to first-class travel and accommodations). Gosselin's rep explained that the show would benefit because he is "quite funny, sharp witted, and interesting." And by Gosselin's rep do they mean his mom?
THEY DON'T GO TO THEIR SIBLINGS BIRTHDAY PARTIES WITHOUT PAYMENT!
Heidi Montag was reportedly a no-show to her sister Holly's birthday party because they refused to pay her. Hey, it's her sister's birthday and she can demand a fee for her worthless presence if she wants to.
While Holly was sad her sister couldn't make it, she tried to make the most of it. In lieu of gifts this year, Holly requested money be donated to the Montag family's Heidi Comes Home for Christmas charitable fund this year.
Follow Wonderwall on Twitter!
Wonderwall is the innovative and fun celebrity destination from MSN Entertainment and BermanBraun Interactive.
