Train Wreck: Beyoncé is smart enough to know that a touch of campiness is in order when promoting a stalker thriller in which you utter the guffaw-eliciting line, "You touched my child. You do not touch my child!" But the knockout chanteuse has confused camp with cockeyed at the premiere of "Obsessed," where she hits the red carpet in a clingy, off-kilter gown that's the couture equivalent of a mullet. From the front, her hip-suctioned, sequined miniskirt and pointy, careful-you'll-put-an-eye-out bustier are all business, assuming that business involves slinging drinks amid the din of dozens of slot machines. The explosively ruffled back, meanwhile, is a total party -- one that involves clicking castanets, cancan dancers and a Scarlett O'Hara impersonator or two. Despite the contradictory fashion statement, which, shockingly enough, was not designed by her tacky-tending mom Tina, Beyoncé looks radiant, with her glowing skin and shiny hair nicely contrasting with the unsubtle sheen of her nude pantyhose.