Ashton and CNN in Twitter Battle for a Million Followers; Demise of Our Culture to Follow

Wonderwall, Thursday, April 16, 2009, 5:12pm (PDT)

Never before has there been a need to discuss CNN and Ashton Kutcher in the same sentence, but after Ashton announced he was going try to beat CNN in becoming the first Twitterer with a million followers a few days ago, it seems to be the biggest news story of the year. Wonderwall asks the question: Really, guys?

In the race to a million, Ashton makes a whole slew of campaign promises. He first vowed to his fans that if he beats CNN, he'll play ding-dong ditch on Ted Turner's house. He later promised that he'd buy the millionth follower a Guitar Hero. Then he said he would donate 1000 bed nets on malarianomore.org if he wins.

He then tweeted:

"someone pointed out I should do 1000 anyway.. good point if I get to 1 million b4 cnn i'll by 10000 bed nets http://www.malarianomore.org"

Check out more Celebritweets on Wonderwall.

At least someone called him out.

Larry King isn't taking this sitting down. Well maybe he's sitting down (he probably should remain sitting at all times), but he laid the smackdown on Ashton last night when he said, "Are you kidding? Do you think you can take on an entire network? Do you know how big we are? Do you know what CNN is? Kutcher, youre playing out of your field. Youre in another time zone. This aint gonna work. CNN will bury you!"

We expect this kind of asinine behavior from Ashton, but come on, CNN ... You're in a TWEET battle with the "Punk'd" guy. We'll just let you digest that for a second.

If it weren't bad enough, the popularity contest now has a sponsor. Electronic Arts has promised that if Ashton wins, his millionth follower will receive every game they make in 2009 and will be featured in the next Sims game. And the follower will be featured as what exactly? A nerdy, creepy, Ashton-loving Tweeter? Is this guy gonna get more press than Octomom?

You can also get up-to-the-minute stats on this site ... just check it out when you take a break from World of Warcraft.

We're not gonna take sides here. We're just gonna follow Weird Al Yankovic and call it a day. Did you know he has a cameo appearance in "17 Again"?

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