Russell Brand has revealed candid details of his brief romance with supermodel Kate Moss - describing their first kiss and the aftermath of their first sexual encounter.
The British funnyman, who is due to marry pop star Katy Perry at the weekend (23-24Oct10), claims he briefly dated the catwalk beauty back in 2006 after meeting her at a party.
He has previously admitted he was "infatuated" with Moss and was devastated when he "f**ked up" the relationship.
Brand has now opened up about the affair in his latest book, Booky Wook 2: This Time It's Personal, revealing his feelings during their first smooch.
He writes, "My heart pounding, of course, but also my liver and lungs and feet. Paul Simon thinks my vital organs may be a lost African tribe and considers recording a follow-up to Graceland in my colon.
"We kiss, and yes, on one level I'm enjoying the kiss, but my mind is screaming, screeching, body-popping, lambada-ing. Playground fads are revisited: yo-yos, hula hoops, (children's toy) Pogs. 'Kiss properly, stop thinking about Pogs, you idiot.' Ludicrously I say to her, 'Do you want to come back to mine... Kate Moss?' "
He later adds, "(Seeing her in my bed was) like looking into the garden and seeing Vegas Elvis mowing the lawn. Her hair fans over the pillow like a peacock's tail. Kate Moss is indeed in the bed, and for a minute I feel like I've murdered her. 'Oh my God, what have I done?' I get up and back away like a butler on the first day with the Queen, not daring to turn from her for a moment."
And Brand reveals the fling came to an abrupt end after he made an off-hand remark about Moss to a reporter.
He adds, "What no one realised, not Kate nor the red-top tabloid press, was that far from viewing her as a conquest, I was absolutely smitten. When I clumsily ballsed it up by flatly telling journalists... 'I was just larking around,' she wisely withdrew and I had enough sense to stop calling her."