"When I was living a different way, I was probably profoundly bored. I had moments of elation. Now I never get f------ bored. I get excited about room service menus! I really do. ... I'm just grateful that I'm actually alive, to be honest. Anytime I have a s--- mood, now it's some aspect of me that is present and is feeling whatever I'm feeling, and the same counts if I'm giddy or jocular. It's honest, it's real. That's quite simply the coolest thing. Everything is real now."