Field Guide to "Twilight" Rumors
By Melissa Hunter
Ever since "Twilight" was released a year ago, the gossip mill has been ablaze with the pretty, young, sparkly cast of the vampire series. Kristen Stewart has told the collective media and fan base to f--- off so many times at this point, it has kind of become her endearing schtick.
Check out the Twilight Superfans blog now!
In fairness, with an ensemble cast composed of terribly good-looking teens, the rumors nearly write themselves. Here is a breakdown of the most incessant, sometimes plausible, but mostly absurd "Twilight" rumors to date.
RPattz + KStew 4Eva
They're dating! They're engaged! They're married! They're having a baby and naming it Belldward! The nonstop romance rumors between Kristen and Robert have dominated tabloid covers this year. It's like Life & Style doesn't even care anymore that Jen Aniston and Brad Pitt divorced five years ago.
The pair has always remained tight-lipped on the subject, but do tease their Twi-hard fans with stunts like going to concerts together, doing romantic photo shoots for magazines, and staying in the same hotel. It's like they're filming movies together or something!? I wouldn't doubt that the two are or were at some point together, but we're never gonna know the details. That is, until they are no longer relevant. Then we might see some Pamela-Tommy Lee style red-carpet PDA.
Taylor Lautner's Romances
While he didn't get too much attention for the first film, and almost ran the risk of not getting the part in the second, 17-year-old Taylor drank some protein shakes and proved this year that he's a hunk to be reckoned with. Between his abs and his good looks and did we mention his abs, it was only natural that starlet romance rumors would spark up.
First he was attached to Disney queen Selena Gomez but that proved to be either fleeting or false. Now Lautner seems to *actually* be dating Taylor Swift, which makes them the Homecoming King & Queen of Gossip High. The main problem with the romance is the lack of clever nicknames that exist when the two date each other. TayTay? TayTimesTwo? If you want to steal mag covers from Robsten, you guys better come up with something clever before we tire of your prettiness.
The RPattz, KStew, & TLaut love triangle!!!
What tabloid saga is complete without a good old fashioned love triangle? With Taylor playing Kristen's primary love interest in "New Moon" and Taylor's newly discovered hotness, this shameless tabloid story was inevitable.
Apparently, Taylor has a HUGE crush on Kristen, but Kristen thinks of him as a little brother. BUT! Robert is now worried that Kristen is falling for Taylor's charm! Fortunately for Taylor, he's found a girl both famous and hot enough to distract the gossip rags for a little while.
Kellan Lutz and his "90210" romances
Another painfully good-looking member of the cast (hmm, starting to see why these kids are popular), Kellan has been attached to "90210"-star-red-carpet-kiss-blower AnnaLynne McCord off and on this whole year. According to the tabloids, the pair (who met on the first season set of "90210") has broken up and gotten back together dozens of times. And the plot thickens due to a romance rumor with another "90210" starlet, Jessica Stroup. Maybe the "90210" producers should start filming this love triangle and package it for TV to increase ratings.
The "Harry Potter" vs. "Twilight" feud
The entertainment industry isn't big enough for two tween fantasy franchises! Actually, I think that's all the industry is producing these days, but in any case, when you have two big-budget heartthrob series on your hands, it's only natural that feud rumors will be incited. Or, at least, leading questions from reporters about jealousy and rivalries.
Unfortunately for this story, Robert Pattinson and Daniel Radcliffe happen to be two proper British boys and there hasn't been a single out-of-context sound bite worth plausibly spinning. But it did allow an opportunity for Jimmy Fallon to be funny, so there's that.
RPattz body talk
Maybe it's because the cast is full of hot dudes or maybe it's because we're all terrified of Kristen Stewart's wrath, but in any case, the boys of "Twilight" seem to get all the body scrutiny. Robert seems to be shirtless quite a bit in the newest movie, which incited two paradoxical rumors that he took steroids to beef up for the new installment and also that the makeup crew had to paint a six-pack on his abdomen to make him look ripped. I don't know about the lanky Pattinson taking steroids, but when the makeup team is already slathering him in glitter, it's not terribly difficult to draw in some ab definition.
Robert broke Nikki Reed's heart!
Giving Kristen Stewart a chance to breathe, the gossip world opted to focus on a romance rumor between Pattinson and co-star Nikki Reed. The two apparently started dating after the first movie finished filming, but then Robert kicked her to the curb for Kristen! Sorry, KStew, but you knew it was gonna circle back to you eventually.
Ashley Greene has a type: Bloodsucking pretty boys
Meanwhile, Ashley Greene opted to steer clear of romance rumors with Robert (they play siblings, so that would just be silly) and instead has had a string of supposed relationships and hookups this year.
There was the rumor she was shacking up (a fun nebulous gossip term) with Adrian Grenier for a while. But he's hooked up with every starlet, so that's a stale story, really. So the gossip transitioned to a love story within the "Twilight" cast (obvs) when she was rumored to be dating her on-screen boyfriend Jackson Rathbone. Then the girl was said to have ditched Jackson and started dating (wait for it) "Vampire Diaries" star Ian Somerhalder! Stay tuned for the expected make-out session with a "True Blood" star.
RPattz pregnant!
Robert Pattinson recently told MTV News that the most ridiculous rumor he's seen to date is that he was pregnant. 'Nuff said.
RELATED: Play the "New Moon" matchup game now!
The Fifth "Twilight" movie
Recently, there was a rumor that a 5th installment of "Twilight" would be made, breaking up the fourth book "Breaking Dawn" into two parts. Much to the dismay of Twi-hard fans (and the endless-check-cashing "Twilight" producers), this rumor has been debunked.
Come on, guys, do you actually think Kristen Stewart would allow an additional year of "Twilight" press junkets, red carpets, and romance rumors to exist? Besides, by the time the fourth movie is released, we might *just might* have exhausted all possible love connections within the "Twilight" cast.
Become a fan of Wonderwall on Facebook.
Wonderwall is the innovative and fun celebrity destination from MSN Entertainment and BermanBraun Interactive.
