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Titillating, Tired or Tragic? Lindsay's Butt-Nekkid Playboy Pics Leak

Wonderwall, Friday, December 9, 2011, 12:44pm (PST)
  • Someone please hold us, because Lindsay Lohan's nude Playboy spread has leaked on the Interwebs, a full week before it's due to hit newsstands. The promised "tasteful" T&A shots are, as expected, yet another done-to-death homage to LiLo's idol, seminal Playboy centerfold Marilyn Monroe.

    Alas, nearly a half-century after her death, the iconic blond bombshell probably looks more lifelike than the beleaguered, birthday suit-wearing starlet does in this photo shoot.

    With her puffer-fish lips parted and pouted (we're not actually sure she can close them at this point) and her cotton candy-like hair done up a la Marilyn, Lindsay, 25, attempts to look sultry as she rolls around on a red couch set against a red-velvet background.

    And it appears a team of Photoshop experts specially trained in removing freckles, tattoos, bruises and the sadness of a lost career worked night and day to clean up LiLo's spread.

    The standard nudie poses are present and accounted for in the 10 photos: Lindsay throws her arms behind her head to highlight her hooters; Lindsay perches on all fours to highlight her hooters; Lindsay is posed from the side on all fours to highlight her posterior; and Lindsay kneels in six-inch stilettos as she seemingly attempts to escape the shoot by climbing atop the couch and up the curtain.

    Thankfully, the rumor that Playboy would include shots of Lindsay's most private of lady parts turned out to be false.

    But to us, what's meant to be titillating comes off melancholy, with the beautiful girl that Lindsay once was absent from these photos, replaced by a glassy-eyed every-blonde who appears to know her best days are behind her.

    "I have no idea why there is this fascination with everything I do," she tells the mag in the accompanying interview. "I suppose it's all part of this trend of people wanting to know every detail of a celebrity's life."

    So why show off every detail in Playboy?

    "Sex and sexuality are a part of nature, and I go along with nature," explains Lohan. "I think Marilyn Monroe said that, and I agree with her. Knowing your body and being in touch with your body is important because it gives you confidence, and in life, women need confidence."

    Lindsay reportedly pocketed close to $1 million for the spread, which she planned to unveil on Dec. 15 during an appearance on "The Ellen DeGeneres Show."

  • TMZ says Playboy execs are "freaking out" over the leak, with a rep telling Gossip Cop, "Someone took photos of Lindsay's pictorial in an advanced copy of the January/February issue. They posted the photos online without permission."

    What's more, the leak could be bad news for Lohan's bottom line. RumorFix says she received an up-front fee of $750,000 for the shoot, with another $250,000 to come if the issue hit performance goals. With the pics everywhere, that might not happen.

    Hugh Hefner, however, doesn't appear worried.

    "The Lindsay Lohan pictorial has been leaked on the Internet & is causing a sensation," the octogenarian Playboy mogul tweeted. "The Lindsay Lohan issue of Playboy is going to be a true Collector's Edition."

    He added that due to the "interest" and the leak, the issue would be released early.

    Lohan, by the by, is due in court next week for a progress hearing, and she's reportedly on track with her community service at the morgue.

    Her rep tells Wonderwall, "Suffice it to say, she is being diligent and complying with all court-mandated requirements."

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