Wonderwall, Saturday, February 7, 2009, 6:57am (PST)
Jennifer Aniston has a knack, it seems, for picking film projects that double as tabloid headlines about her personal life.
First it was The Break-Up with then-flame Vince Vaughn who, let's face it, we all knew she would eventually break up with in real life.
Then she does He's Just Not That Into You which, of course, forced each and every American to reflect on certain men who may not be that into Jennifer Aniston.
And now Jen's teaming up with Jason Bateman for an "artificial insemination" comedy called The Baster. Yes. The Baster. It's about a strong, beautiful woman named Hennifer Shaniston who has achieved professional success yet hasn't fulfilled her dream of having a baby.
The Baster "centers on a neurotic and insecure man (Bateman) who finds out his best friend (Aniston) wants to have a child through artificial insemination. He surreptitiously replaces her donor's semen with his own and is then forced to live with the secret that he is the child's real father."
Maybe The Baster will turn out to be a really excellent, side-splitting addition to both Aniston's CV and the "surreptitious semen replacement" genre. It's just that letting the tabloid editors of the world loose with "Jennifer Aniston" as a noun and "artificially inseminates" as a verb? That's a madlibs-style dance with the devil!
As if Aniston's peculiar form of tabloid masochism wasn't enough, her boyfriend John Mayer recently went on the Ellen show and unnecessarily confirmed that he has "sleepovers" at Jen's house.
Oh, Jen. It hurts us to watch you hurt yourself this way.