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Just Wondering: Would Lindsay Lohan Rob Herself?

Wonderwall, Thursday, August 27, 2009, 9:49am (PDT)

By Alex Blagg

You've might have heard that police are on the lookout for three suspects who recently robbed Lindsay Lohan's house, but should the fuzz look no further than the hijinx-prone starlet herself? Our eagle-eyed friends over at The Superficial have scrutinized the security footage and concluded that one of the hooded criminals looks suspiciously like our dear Lindsay. The photo is too blurry to tell for sure, but just for the sake of hypothesis, why on earth would Lohan burgle her own home? Here are three possible scenarios:

1. Hurting for cash, she wants to broker the sale of her own sex tape. Lohan herself has said that the robbers took "things that a certain old friend knew meant a lot to me" (which we're pretty sure is starlet code for "nudie pics and sex tapes") as opposed to electronics and other obvious valuables lying around the house. So assuming she DOES have a sex tape floating around somewhere (and let's be real, she does), by staging a break-in, Lohan would be free to personally control its inevitable leaking to the Internet while claiming it was stolen, thus reaping the financial benefit without the stigma of selling one's own sex tape.

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2. She drunkenly thought she was breaking into Samantha Ronson's house. One of Lohan's very favorite pasttimes seems to be showing up at Samantha Ronson's house at all hours of the night and throwing loud tantrums in front of her paparazzi pals until SamRo finally lets her in, or the neighbors finally call the cops. Maybe Lindsay was attempting to take a more stealth approach, thinking she might finally catch Sam in the act of making out with Paris Hilton (or whatever other paranoid jealousy scenarios drive her so far over the edge), but had too much to drink and accidentally broke into her own home.

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3. She locked herself out and tried to get back in the house quiety, so as not to disturb the neighbors. This scenario would be possible, I suppose, but HIGHLY unlikely.

Like the JFK Assassination, Area 51 or any of life's other great mysteries, we may never know exactly what happened that night outside of Lindsay Lohan's home in the Hollywood Hills. But in a few weeks, if Lohan is seen tooling around town in a new Maserati only days after oddly flattering psudeo-sex-tape footage hits the Internet, at least we'll know why.

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