Stars We'd Like to See in Future "Twilight" Films
By Melissa Hunter
"New Moon" marks but the second movie in the four-part "Twilight" series. And while there were rumors afoot about hot new cast members, the only big name to sink her teeth (hey-o!) into the project was the lovely Dakota Fanning (whose creepy red eyes will now haunt our dreams).
So, as A-list actors line up for the open call, we'd like to provide some assistance to the casting directors on who they should bring into the "Twilight" fold.
10. Russell Brand
He's got that dirty, bloodsucking yet totally charming thing going on. And considering the everlasting teen angst and creepy undead creatures, "Twilight" really could use a little of Brand's quirky comedic pick-me-up. You know, right before he kills some bubbly little teenybopper.
9. Audrina Patridge
She already has the freaky ceiling eyes down pat. And while she may not be able to "act" or "be a person" on camera per se, she would be the perfect victim for a big opening kill scene. Lord knows if you put the girl in a camisole and send her running into a moonlit forest, that will lock the audience's attention span for 45 seconds, easy.
8. Woody Harrelson
We always knew Woody was a badass, but after seeing him destroy hordes of zombies without breaking a sweat in "Zombieland," I would just love to see how he handles these sissy, pretty boy vamps. While the various species are sidetracked by their teen romances, Woody will just come in and wipe the "Twilight" world clean of all of this nonsense.
7. Lindsay Lohan
First off, the girl needs a job. But really, between her nocturnal lifestyle and manic behavior, she's clearly already struggling with some personal demons. Becoming a vampire could also be beneficial to her whole rapid aging problem. And without the self-tanner, I bet she's a dead ringer for the undead.
6. Marilyn Manson
Obvs. No makeup or acting required. Only danger is he may inexplicably seduce several pretty young things in the cast. But isn't that the Dracula MO anyway?
5. Kim Kardashian
She's already shown her interest in "Twilight" by giving herself a sparkly, sexy vampire makeover for a photo shoot. And while we can all assume she has no acting skills, they can just cast her as the vampire queen who makes Bella totally jealous. Edward attends all these undead red-carpet events with her, and Bella beats her down and runs into his arms. Actually, that might work IRL, R.Pattz.
4. Victoria Beckham
She's rumored to be vying for cameos in the "SATC" movies, so why not move over to another cash cow franchise? She could just play herself, really. Who doesn't look at a picture of this girl and think "hungry vampire"?
3. Zac Efron
Bringing the "High School Musical" star into the "Twilight" series will surely create a hybrid-superbreed of teen mania the world has never seen. He's got the brooding looks and the sideswept hair; they can easily throw him in as Edward's long lost pretty-boy brother, who um, spray tans to fit in? And really, we all want to see the kid sparkle.
2. Lady GaGa
Dressing in one of her many macabre outfits, she could certainly be convincing as the leader of the Volturi vampire royalty. She doesn't need to say or do anything. Just sit her on a throne dressed in origami and feathers. Though we would all really appreciate a clip from a "Bad Romance"-esque music video interlude to make the movie a little trippier.
1. Tom Cruise & Brad Pitt
Combine the "Twilight" mania with the '90s reunions craze with our eternal love for these two guys, and what do you get? Tom and Brad reprising their roles from "Interview With the Vampire" in the "Twilight" world.
They'll be that old-timey vampire couple who goes on and on about how back in their day, vampires had to walk 50 miles in the snow just to drink blood from swamp creatures. And the sparkles? Don't get them started on the sparkles.
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