Undressed for August 12

By Kat Giantis

Achy Breaky Tart: It's a time-honored tradition among teenage girls: They try to sneak out in a wildly age-inappropriate outfit, only to be stopped at the front door with the stern parental warning, "You are not leaving the house dressed like that, young lady!" But judging by Miley Cyrus' unsavory homage to "Pretty Woman" at the Teen Choice Awards, her sartorial supervision system has broken down in a big way. How big? The be-necklaced "Hannah Montana" starlet was joined at the ceremony by dad Billy Ray and mom Tish, which means that upon seeing their 16-year-old daughter tarted up in a black bra, sheer white ribbed tank and a sequined miniskirt so short and snug it could double as a tourniquet, their harshest words were apparently, "Looking good, sweet pea!" What's worse, they didn't protest when their role model offspring changed into short-shorts and took to the stage for a pole-dancing-inclusive performance atop an ice cream cart. With Miley's wholesome, Disney-fied image rapidly approaching its expiration date, her parents need to step up and ensure that her perilous journey from child star to grown-up performer detours around Vixen-ville, a dangerous place that devours pop princesses with the same gusto as Britney Spears digging into a freshly opened bag of Cheetos.

By Kat Giantis