Shortcomings: Amid rumors of relationship trouble, Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake make a paparazzi-accompanied run to Whole Foods to show that their diet is as healthy as their romance. Let's listen to their post-shopping confab ...
Justin: Why are you walking so far away from me? Is it my fedora? I knew it was too jaunty for the grocery store.
Jess: No, your hat is fine; hackneyed, but fine.
Justin: Then what? Are you worried about being photographed in those polka-dot shorts?
Jess: Should I be?
Justin: Not if you were trying to look like the winner of the Miss Beachy Keen contest of 1922 -- then it's all good.
Jess: Whatever. You just don't understand the burden I carry because of my looks. It really is a problem. I have to balance being really sexy with being really attainable.
Justin: As you've said in recent interviews. [Eye roll.] So, the middle ground between gorgeous and get-able means wearing a schoolmarm's beach bloomers on the bottom, a biker chick's Sunday driving outfit on top, and a hippie's fringed purse on your arm?
Jess: See, you totally get me. We're so perfect together. Should we smile so the world knows how happy we are?
Justin: And break our glum streak? Nah. Besides, not smiling makes us look cool, and with your dorky shorts, we need all the help we can get.