That's quite enough, medieval John Mayer. Your blatant attempts to steal Johnny Depp's signature style aren't working. We know Capt. Jack Sparrow. We would swab his deck and walk his plank any ol' day. And you, sir, are no Capt. Jack, no matter how many wenches you've yo-ho-ho'd. Now, quit being a barnacle on the poop deck of life and deep-six this getup.