The sitch: Purity rings be damned! Kevin Jonas married his hairdresser love Danielle on Sunday, making him the first Jonas to go off the market. (Don't worry, one bro is contractually obligated to stay single for the duration of Jo Bro mania)
Suggestion: Kev, after 22 years of celibacy, you've got a big honeymoon ahead of you. And as a major rock star, she probs has high expectations. I'll have your manager FedEx a few materials to your Mexican cabana for a quick crash course. Hang tight, kid, you should be receiving "The Complete Kama Sutra," "The Miracle of Life," and my fifth grade sex ed textbook by noon tomorrow.