Jay-Z: How Fatherhood Has Already Changed Me

Even Jay-Z has insecurities.

The 42-year-old mogul and his wife, Beyonce, are expecting a little girl in February, but like most first-time fathers, Jay-Z is nervous.

On Thursday in Hollywood at GQ's Men of the Year Party, Jay-Z, whose real name is Shawn Carter, admitted that his less-than-perfect relationship with his own father makes him "a little paranoid" about having a child himself. 

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"I don't think any person or male goes into a relationship thinking they aren't going to be there," he said. "You just never know." 

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Jay-Z's father, Adnis Reeves, abandoned him at age 11. "If your dad died before you were born, yeah, it hurts, but it's not like you had a connection with something that was real," he explained to GQ magazine. "Not to say it's any better, but to have that connection and then have it ripped away was, like, the worst. My dad was such a good dad that when he left, he left a huge scar. He was my superhero."

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It wasn't until 2003 that Jay-Z, then 33, reunited with his father. "[I talked about] what it did to me, what it meant, asked him why. There was no real answer. There was nothing he could say, because there's no excuse for that. There really isn't," he said. "So there was nothing he could say to satisfy me, except to hear me out. And it was up to me to forgive and let it go."

So how has impending fatherhood changed Jay-Z so far? "I've gotten taller," he quipped.

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