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Candace Cameron Bure: People think of 'submissive' in a 'perverted' way

USMagazine, Friday, January 10, 2014, 12:30pm (PST)
  • Who knew one little word could cause such a huge controversy? Candace Cameron Bure sparked a heated debate recently when she wrote in her book that she had taken a "submissive" role in her marriage to husband Valeri Bure. Though some people rallied to her defense, others critiqued her admission as anti-feminist and weak. But Bure, a devout Christian, says they're misinterpreting what she said.

    "I think [the word "submissive"] sounds so ugly to so many people, especially when they don't understand the biblical definition of the word," the Full House alum said in an interview for HLN on Jan. 9. "I think they're thinking of it in terms of a perverted 'Fifty Shades of Grey' kind of definition, or an oppression, or even a dictatorship. And that is not what I'm talking about." 

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    "In the biblical sense, submitting to my husband just means allowing my husband to lead his family because he loves our family and [is] making the best decisions for our family that he can," she explained further. Her so-called "submission," she said, is really just a choice "to respect those decisions and to encourage him to be the best man and father that he can possibly be to our family."

    In her book, "Balancing It All: My Story of Juggling Priorities and Purpose," the former child star wrote, "My husband is a natural-born leader. I quickly learned that I had to find a way of honoring his take-charge personality and not get frustrated about his desire to have the final decision on just about everything. I am not a passive person, but I chose to fall into a more submissive role in our relationship because I wanted to do everything in my power to make my marriage and family work."

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    Bure stressed to HLN that her 17-year marriage to her husband is a happy one. "We have a very wonderful marriage, and that's why I have felt comfortable sharing about it in my book. I had no idea this was going to stir this much controversy," she confessed. "We have a marriage in which we want to honor God ... and so I just was explaining that. But this little word in there is causing everybody to just get into a tizzy about it."

    That said, not everyone disagrees with her views on relationships. "I've had so much support from my followers and my fans, and it's wonderful. And a lot of people agree," she shared. "They say that the people that are in disagreement and are being very ugly and spewing venom towards me about it, just simply don't understand the definition in which I'm using the word."

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    "Their eyes are not seeking the biblical blueprint of marriage, so I don't expect them to understand, and I do expect that they're going to be upset over it," the mom of three added of her naysayers, "because they're thinking about it from a different world view than I am."

    The actress previously defended her views on HuffPost Live, noting that "submissive" does not necessarily mean weak. "It is meekness, it is not weakness," she explained. "It is strength under control, it is bridled strength."

    To further prove her point, she shared a picture of herself working out and flexing her impressive arm muscles. "Nothing weak about this," she captioned the Instagram shot. "People talk about what they don't understand."

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