Bono, who was born as Cher and Sonny Bono's daughter Chastity, recently underwent gender reassignment surgery to fulfill his dream of becoming a man.
During the TV special "Becoming Chaz," which debuted on the Oprah Winfrey Network (OWN) on Tuesday, the former singer revealed he had become a pill-popping recluse after the cancer death of his lesbian lover and that he wanted to end his existence as a woman.
Bono recalls, "I thought about faking my own death just so I could do this (become a man) and no one would know. (My family) would know (about the gender reassignment surgery), but the public wouldn't."
When he eventually went public with his surgery plans, he worried about the painkillers he'd have to take during the lengthy process.
He added, "I'm always afraid when I know I have to take painkillers, because that's my drug of choice, and there's always a risk of a relapse. I used drugs for about 10 years. It started
when my girlfriend was dying. It started with taking her pain pills, not ones that she needed; she had moved way on at this point. ... She died a month before my 25th birthday. When she died, that f----- me up for a long time. ... (I was) a full-blown junkie. I stayed in my house and took pills."