Dumped by a Deity: Charlie Sheen Gets Breakup Text From Porn Star Goddess

Wonderwall, Monday, April 25, 2011, 6:20am (PDT)

By Kat Giantis

How far and fast has Charlie Sheen fallen? Seems he can't even keep his threesomes together anymore.

During the Fort Lauderdale stop of his "Violent Torpedo of Truth" tour on Saturday, the former sitcom star revealed that one of his goddesses, porn star Bree Olson, a woman who proudly accepted the title of "World's Biggest Whore" from Howard Stern last year, has ditched him.

Even worse: She did it with a text message (imagined kiss-off: "Finally winning. C U L8r").

The admission came after an audience member asked Charlie how he juggled two women at once, a reference to Olson and fellow blonde deity Natalie Kenly, who earlier in the tour had provided crowd titillation in the form of girl-on-girl saliva-swapping.

"Not well, because one left," said Sheen, who just lost a bid to gain custody of 2-year-old twins Bob and Max from ex-wife Brooke Mueller.

But he wished Bree well, a nice change from his recent riffs about Mueller ("crack addict," "loser") and second ex-wife Denise Richards ("dog thief," "loser")

Last week, Olson denied reports that she'd ditched Sheen and his Sober Valley Lodge lifestyle, explaining that she'd temporarily returned home to Indiana to deal with the legal fallout from a DUI arrest.

"I am 100% still one of Charlie's goddesses," declared Bree.

The polyamorous hookup had previously suffered a hiccup in early March, when Charlie tweeted that Olson had "left the building … We're sad … Over it … Applications now being accepted."

Bree quickly returned. This time, however, she appears to be moving on.

"I had one of the best nights of my life last night!" she tweeted on Easter Sunday. "My friends are the best! And I love that my sexy girlfriends are so naughty! Yum!"

Meanwhile, is Charlie looking to fill the newly vacated goddess position with a blonde who's down on her luck?

During Saturday's show, he invited Lindsay Lohan to hang out with him for 24 hours, a meeting that we assume will be followed by plagues of locusts and four guys on horseback.

"I would hug her and let her know it's gonna be ok," said Sheen.

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