Impending Bundle of Cheeto-Hued Joy for Snooki?

Wonderwall, Wednesday, February 1, 2012, 10:54am (PST)

By Kat Giantis

• They're the most terrifying words this side of "Let's go see the new Katherine Heigl rom-com": Snooki may be pregnant.

  On Wednesday, people everywhere started looking over their shoulders for swarms of locusts and four gloomy guys on horseback after Star (via Radar Online) claimed that the pocketsize "Jersey Shore" alcohol enthusiast is knocked up, courtesy of her beefy boyfriend, Jionni LaValle.

  "Snooki has been wanting to get married and have babies for a while," says a source. "So this is perfect."

  And while Snooks (nee Nicole Polizzi) loves her some pickles and has made no secret of her desire to bring forth gym-, tan- and laundry-loving babies ("I want to have four kids," she recently told GQ. "Frankie, Isabella, Giana, and maybe Jionni Jr."), she denies she's in the familia way.

  "RadarOnline says the craziest things," Snooki, 24, scoffed during a chat on the "Opie & Anthony" show Wednesday, likening the pregnancy reports to how she was bullied in high school.

  She was particularly upset that the baby rumors surfaced now, when she's been showing off a decidedly slimmed-down figure, presumably the result of the Zantrex diet pills she's been hawking.

  "Obviously, they're calling me fat," huffed Snooki. "That means that I have a belly, then."

  But she had a succinct response to those behind the bambino talk: "I hate you."

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