Quickies: Heidi's 'Tasteful' Playboy Spread, Gwyneth's Name Game

Wonderwall, Friday, June 12, 2009, 2:09pm (PDT)

By Kat Giantis

If Heidi Montag's crocodile tears on "I'm a Celebrity . . . Get Me Out of Here!" left you wondering, "Gee, I wonder what she'd look like naked," we have good news. People magazine reports that Mrs. Spencer Pratt is set to show off her surgically enhanced assets in the September issue of Playboy. But don't worry: The risqué pictorial will uphold the high standards that Speidi apply to every one of their shameless bids for publicity. "There is nudity," a source tells the mag. "It's tasteful -- she had a lot of fun with it."

Related: See Speidi's most shameless photo ops

Why did Beyoncé cross the road? No, it's not a trick question. She really did just want to get to the other side, but the London Daily Mail says the 45-foot jaunt required two chauffeur-driven SUVs, various minions and a passel of bodyguards. On Tuesday, the chart-topper exited London's Mandarin Oriental hotel and hopped into her ride, which proceeded to zoom a little ways up the street before making a U-turn and pulling up in front of department store Harvey Nichols, which is located directly across from the hotel. After a quick tour, Beyoncé, whose soft spot for vertiginous stilettos probably makes even a short walk perilous (plus, she's balked before at walking), climbed back into her SUV for the long journey back across the street.

Related: Check out Beyonce's all-liquid fast and other extreme celebrity diets!

Gwyneth Paltrow, pretentious name-dropper or master of the subtle pop culture reference? In this week's edition of her GOOP lifestyle initiative, the would-be domestic doyenne shares her favorite cookie recipes, including one for dark chocolate chunk and dried cherry treats. "The summer before last, a mutual friend brought the lovely Katie Lee Joel and her husband William over for dinner," writes Gwyn. "Much to my delight, she brought a fresh batch of these cookies with her. I adore the contrast of the dark chocolate and the cherries -- heaven." Once your eyes roll back into your head from her overblown description of the divine mix of sugar and fruit, you'll note that she refers to Katie's hubby as William, even though he's better known to the rest of the world as Billy, aka The Piano Man. But perhaps this wasn't just pompousness on the part of Paltrow, who, granted, once thanked "William Bradley" -- otherwise known as then-boyfriend Brad Pitt -- in an acceptance speech. A few theories: It was an homage to Billy's "Tell Her About It" video, in which an ersatz Ed Sullivan calls him William Joel, or a nod to "The Office," which once featured Dwight Schrute serenading Michael on his recorder with his favorite "William Joel" song, "For the Longest Time." Either way, those cookies look darn good.

Related: See photos of Gwyneth through the years

What happened in Hugh Grant's life to make him such a crankypants? Is it the millions of dollars he gets for acting charmingly befuddled on the big screen? Or the packs of young women he's frequently spotted squiring around New York? On Tuesday night, TMZ.com caught the actor on video as he apparently took aim at a paparazzo's groin outside New York's Waverly Inn, an eatery that isn't exactly off the beaten celebrity path. At first, Hugh seems pleasant enough, but he quickly shifts into irritable mode as he makes a move towards the pap. Grant's dislike of the paparazzi is well-documented. He was accused of kicking a lensman in the butt back in 2006, and in 2007, he supposedly made contact with another photographer's sensitive bits before tossing a tub of baked beans at him.

Related: Check out the Top 10 Stars Who Hate Fame