Hey there, Ed Hardy-wearing, regrettable tattoo-sporting, elaborately high-fiving segment of the population. What with d-bag-decrying shows like "Is She Really Going Out With Him?", you don't normally get much sympathy, but that changes today, because we're giving some help to the most elite of d-bags: celebrity d-bags, of both the male and female varieties.
The sitch: After "the hotel room incident," wife Brooke Mueller is allegedly seeking a divorce.
Humble suggestion: STOP SCREWING UP! Seriously, Chuckie, you make, like, a billion dollars per episode on "Two and a Half Men." With that kind of scratch, you can appease wifey No. 3 (and, yes, there will be a wifey No. 3) by just putting up the money to film a movie about having a bender. Get it out of your system, maybe generate some Oscar buzz, and then go home to a stable household because you will have exorcised your need to act out a solo bachelor party-gone-bad.
(Wonderwall publisher BermanBraun also produces the MTV series "Is She Really Going Out With Him?")